Peach Picking, Running and Franciscan Spirituality

This morning, we went peach picking. The last time we actually made it to the pick-your-own farm for mid-summer peaches, Princess was an infant, and I made a TON of baby food for her. She had peaches mixed with nearly everything for the next few months.

I love the act of picking our own fruit. I think it's a lot of fun to ride in the wagon and pick the fruit. I love watching the juice dribble down chins and onto t-shirts. I love the smell of fresh fruit ripening on the 30 minute ride home in the van.

But I never know what to do with all the peaches. The strawberries always get eaten before they can go bad. The apples last a long time in the fridge, and I am always good for a few batches of crock-pot applesauce, which we freeze and eat mid-winter. (YUM!) But peaches are a struggle for me. They aren't ripe enough to eat just yet, and we have a whole huge box of them. Already, I've made two loaves of peach bread and a peach tart. I downloaded a few recipes for peach jam and I may try my hand at that in the next week. We'll see how quickly they get used up. If you have a favorite peach recipe, please let me know!

Before we left for the farm, I got a really good run in. I was feeling so good at the 2 mile mark that I kept going for another quarter-mile, even though that wasn't on my training schedule until next week. I stretched afterwards, but not long enough before getting in the car for 30 minutes. By the time we got to the farm, my legs had completely stiffened up. It wasn't until late afternoon, when I could give them a really good, long stretch (and some ibuprofen), that I felt the muscles begin to relax. Interesting... at least to me. I can feel myself hitting little training plateaus, where something that was hard no longer is, and each subsequent step (whether in speed, time or distance) comes with its own physical learning curve.

After we picked peaches, we stopped at the shrine ten miles from the farm for lunch and some time in the playground. Lunch was, as usual, awesome... just a soup and salad buffet, but the soups are homemade and just about the most delicious soups ever made. There was a creamy carrot-dill soup that all three kids ate up - two bowls each! LilBro (the picky eater) proclaimed "Carrot soup is THE BEST!" I asked the waitress to pass LilBro's praise along to the chef, and the waitress asked if we wanted a quart to take home. Why, yes, we certainly did. So, we had more carrot-dill soup for dinner, and DH plans to search out the recipe.

Before we left the shrine, we stopped at the Lourdes Grotto. We prayed a bit, the kids wandered, we talked about St Bernadette and her visions of the Blessed Mother. Before leaving, we gathered together to pray once more. Princess has taken to praying with her arms open, palms up, in a style reminiscent of the Franciscans. Influenced by the Franciscan sisters in our parish, by her Secular Franciscan Grammy, or by some prompting of her own heart, I do not know. But her prayer posture is sincere and respectful, and she takes prayer time seriously. I watched her as we prayed. There's something real there. I've written about it before, but it bears repeating: Princess is a deeply spiritual person. I look to my five year old as a living example of the trust and faith I so want to have in the Lord.

As we carried the box of peaches into the house this afternoon, Princess exclaimed, "This was a really good day!" I wholeheartedly agree.

Shell Hunting

Last week, on the beach in South Carolina, Princess and I took a walk, hunting for seashells. I carried the bucket, watching her fill it, carefully choosing shells based on texture, color, shape... but rarely (surprisingly), based on perfection. Princess was enamoured with shells, and pieces of shells, that had been beaten smooth by the waves and sand. She loved pinks, oranges, blacks and browns. She especially liked finding "families" of shells -- those shells of similar shape and color but a variety of sizes.

We spent nearly an hour scouring the shoreline, admiring each other's finds, weighing down the bucket with bits and pieces of the sea.

I noticed the difference in our hunting styles. Often, I overlooked the broken pieces, ignored the cracked shells, and kept searching for the "perfect" shell. Princess didn't care about cracks and brokenness. She noticed shape, color, texture. She saw beauty in the ordinary.

We walked along, side by side. My five year old exclaimed over "imperfect" shells and proudly added them to our growing collection. I considered a black and white oyster shell. It was mottled and marked. Dents and nicks betrayed a life of challenge, of being beaten by the waves, broken open, but still, somehow, held together. I bent to pick up this shell. I held it in my palm, caressing the pocks, the smooth patches, the cracks.

How like my own life this shell is. Dents and nicks, gray hairs and stretchmarks, hurts and resentments all leave their marks on me. I, too, have been beaten by the tides. I have been broken open. I am filled with cracks, imperfect and mottled.

I consider my life. The ease with which I give in to temptations. The simplicity of my sins. The overwhelming amount of imperfection that makes me me. I placed that oyster shell in the bucket. This imperfect, mottled shell was my find that afternoon.

Yesterday, I admitted that I struggle with perfection. I often shut down and walk away when perfection seems unattainable. A reader, Carrie, reminded me of this:

The universe was created "in a state of journeying" toward an
ultimate perfection yet to be attained, to which God has destined it.

- Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 302

That shell, me... both of us were created "in a state of journeying." We were created "good" and imperfect.

That shell has a special place on my nightstand... the place where I keep my devotionals, where I begin and end each day. I am trying, however imperfectly, to let go of my ideas of perfection: in shells and in myself. I run my fingers over the bumps of the shell and pray for the Grace to love my own imperfections, to find beauty in my own dents and bruises.

For it is here, in my imperfections, in my weakness, where God can shine most clearly.

Little Updates

There's so much going on right now, and I would love the chance to blog about all the things spinning in my head, but time is not on my side.

However, a quick update to keep me going until I do find the time to blog more heavily.

• It's Back-to-School-Cleaning time! I am in the middle of a massive purge/cleaning/organizing of our school room and our living room bookshelves. Pictures will be posted when I am done (if for no other reason that to prove to myself that, yes, in fact, it did look neat and clean in here for at least long enough to snap a picture!)
  
  
• We arrived home on Saturday to find that the handful of moths we'd been fighting for a few weeks had had a huge party in our absence and we now had a full-fledged infestation on our hands. Sunday afternoon saw DH and me tossing out every bit of food from 3 cabinets, the toaster and the microwave (which were infested with eggs and worms - YUCK!). Then spraying and spraying some more. The dishwasher was kept busy sanitizing every dish, cup, and serving piece in the cabinets.
  
  Yesterday, I sprayed one more time. Then I went to Target to get a new toaster and microwave, and to replenish some of the more critical foods we had lost on Sunday. After spending the afternoon scouring the countertops, running even more loads in the dishwasher, and preemptively putting the new food in plastic bags back in the pantry, DH and I declared an early success.
  
  Now, we have not posted our "Mission Accomplished" banner just yet... but we haven't seen one of the buggers around for more than 24 hours, and that is a huge accomplishment!
  
  
• Did you know that it takes nearly 7-1/2 hours to drive with children the same exact distance I used to drive for work (before children) in 4-3/4 hours?
  
  That would be more of a whine if our children weren't so darn AWESOME in the car! They really are. There's no complaining, no whining, and not even any fighting. They just play, read, talk, sleep, and ask to stop for a potty break about every 45 minutes.
  
  We've been making these long trips for 7 years. This year, we've had two long trips: last week's trip to NC and April's trip to Albuquerque. On both trips, the kids have been absolutely awesome. After years of dealing with whining, crying, screaming, and other sorts of consternation, we are so very happy to have arrived at this travel nirvana... where our kids are so used to the long trips that they become, well, vacations!
  
  
• I hit the wall with my running the other day. The wind just dropped right out of my sails, and if I didn't have the August 29 race staring me in the face, I probably would have just set the whole running thing on the shelf for a while (or ever). And it's not because of our vacation, because I ran 4 days in NC. I don't really know what it was, but I had zero motivation.
  
  So, for a change, I remembered to take my struggle to prayer. Sunday afternoon, I prayed sitting next to the treadmill, and realized that running -- like anything else in my life -- was a discipline, and that some days I just wouldn't feel like doing it. But, would have to do it anyway.
  
  So, I get on the treadmill, and about 9 minutes into my run, I had to stop and stretch. I had this awful pain in my left calf. After stretching, I got back to it, and only got about another 4 minutes of running before the pain returned. Realizing that not every run would be picture perfect, and maybe I was tighter than usual from 2 days in the car, I gave up running for the day and spent about 15 minutes stretching instead.
  
  Yesterday, I didn't run at all. The day just didn't have any time in it where I could consider fitting in a run.
  
  This morning, I was nervous. I wanted to run, but I was afraid of the pain. And I was still struggling a little with the apathy. And with the fear that I won't be ready to run 3 miles one month from now. Fear of failure is a BIG demotivator for me. During mass, I prayed for God to relight the desire in me... to help me refocus on caring for my body and not on the Aug 29 goal.
  
  I climbed on the treadmill a short time later and had a great run. I set the speed 2/10 slower than on Sunday, which meant it took me a little longer to hit the 2 mile mark, but I had no pain, and really felt myself getting a good workout. And I spent a good part of my run reminding myself that I can let go of perfection. Aug 29 is just the beginning... even if I have to walk part of the way, it's a starting point. All I can do from here is improve.
  
  Anyone with advice (Carrie?), please post in comments. I am looking for all the help I can get!
  

Well, the mess isn't getting any smaller while I blog, so better get back to it.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 14

The vacation in North Carolina edition:

-1-

A wonderful week with my parents. We had an absolutely perfect week... weather, activities, and attitudes all converged to make this week the best visit we've ever had. The kids had a great time: splashing and swimming in the pool and on the beach, going to a Myrtle Beach Pelicans game, seeing two fireworks shows, riding the rides at the amusement park, touching the sea creatures in the aquarium, riding a ferry to and from the outer banks. And lots and lots of Grammy-and-Pop-Pop-time! What an absolute blessing this entire week was for all of us.

-2-

Mid-week date day. DH and I managed a date day in the middle of the week: Harry Potter and fresh seafood, mass and shopping, wandering and catching up with each other. It was a treat to have so many hours to relax and enjoy DH, to know, in my heart, that I am happier today than I was nine years ago this September in that white dress.

-3-

My annual foray into the sea. I am an ocean-person. I need to squish my toes in the sand and bob among the waves at least once a year, or I go a little bit crazy. (or crazier, for those who know me). Wednesday morning, as I bobbed up and down, bouncing high with the lift of the wave and crashing back down to the solid ocean floor, I started wildly laughing. Pure joy filled me and spilled out into the ocean in the form of maniacal laughter.

(So I suppose it is also a blessing that I will never see the people swimming nearby ever again!)

*****

And you... what blessings has the Lord bestowed on you while we were gone?

Prayer Update

Thank you all for your prayers. DH's brother had 90% blockage in his main artery, and a stent was inserted on Tuesday evening. He is feeling much better and came home from the hospital yesterday.

We are enjoying our vacation and heading back home tomorrow, sad to leave the beach and my parents, but looking forward to getting home and getting settled again.

Thanks again for the prayers for my brother-in-law! They really did help!

Prayer Request

Hello friends.

We are vacationing in NC, visiting my family, and received word today that DH's brother has been hospitalized with chest pains, and will undergo exploratory surgery tomorrow (Tuesday).

Please keep him and all of DH's family in your prayers.

Thank you!

Blessings of the Week - vol. 13

-1-

Vacation Bible Camp. The kids had a great week, singing songs, learning dances, making crafts, and eating snacks all inspired by the Author of it all. They made some new friends, got themselves completely worn out, and I got 3 hours to myself every single day. Does it get any better than that?

-2-

My new running shoes. Last Sunday, I swallowed my pride and went to the running store. There, I told the much younger, much fitter, much more experienced salesperson that I was a beginning runner and needed shoes, socks and some advice. Along with the shoes, socks, and advice, she filled me up with encouragement. I came home, proud and excited. And what a difference the right shoes make! The difference between these (expensive) running shoes and my cheap Target-brand sneakers is indescribable... except that my knees, if they could speak, would find the words.

So, while these are, by a very long stretch, the most expensive shoes I own, they are worth every single penny.

-3-

Summer Vacations. We headed out on Friday to visit my parents in the Myrtle Beach area. What a blessing it is to be able to visit family (lots of good Grammy-and-PopPop-time!), and go to the beach at the same time! We are excited about a week of sunshine, beach and pool time, mini-golf, homemade ice cream, fishing with PopPop, and a mid-week date night that will include the new Harry Potter movie!

*****

How has God blessed you this week?

The Running Post

Ok, so I was planning to keep this quiet for a bit, not trusting myself to really commit to this new change, but enough people know, and it's becoming a big part of who I am, so here goes.

I am running. For exercise. Training for a 5K. At least 5 times a week, for 25 minutes or more.

Perhaps that doesn't seem so incredibly remarkable to you. Lots of people run. And a 5K is only just over 3 miles. But, then, you must not really know me.

You see, I have never run further than the distance it takes to snatch my child from danger. I had a boyfriend in high school who kept trying to turn me into a runner... and failed miserably. (And that was back before 3 kids and 30 extra pounds found their way into my life). You see, running hurt. It made my lungs hurt, my legs. It was uncomfortable and miserable, and why would anyone ever do it, unless they were rescuing their child from imminent danger? I just didn't get it.

Add to that the fact that I hate exercising. In nearly any form. With any consistency. I am not a "workout person." Last winter, I wrote a bit about my struggle with exercise. Let's just say that even though I did commit to regular exercise all winter, that went right out the window this spring when my emotional life hit the fan.

So, as I mentioned in my blessings last week, I took this whole issue to prayer. And my prayers were answered in the most surprising way imaginable to me. When I felt called back to the treadmill, it was to run, not walk. I took it very slowly the first week. I take a day off when I am feeling a little tight. Two weeks into this, I began googling running tips, looking for suggestions. I looked up a race schedule for St Louis, and began thinking, quietly, to myself, that maybe, just maybe this fall sometime, I could try to run a 5K.

Then, last Friday night, during my monthly bunco group, one woman mentioned that she is doing a 12-week Couch to 5k plan and is going to run a 5K in the end of August. Without thinking for even a nano-second, I jumped right in there: "I'll do it with you."

The reaction I got (from everyone... DH, my friends, and most especially myself!) was total surprise. You? Running? Really? DH's words: "Good luck with that."

But very quickly, their shock faded and was replaced by unwavering support.

So, now I have a goal. August 29. I don't know if I will actually be able to run the entire distance, but I sure am aiming for it. This morning, I did two miles. So, just 1.1 more miles to go!

But, for me the most surprising part of this is just how very happy it makes me. There is a lot of muck that I am wading through right now. Emotional crap and spiritual baggage and all sorts of existential ickiness. But running makes me happy. It gives me something good, positive, healthy and nurturing to focus on when everything else starts to pile up around me. It gives me this glorious adrenaline rush that lasts for hours. It gives me something new to google about when I find myself with some free time on the computer.

It gives me a new entry in my self-definition: Catholic, wife, mother, homeschooler, friend, sister, daughter, blogger, writer, runner.

Yes, me... 37 years old, 30 (+?) pounds overweight... runner.

This can only be divinely inspired. The Lord knows that I would never have come up with this one on my own.

Running Praise

I don't know about you, but my prayer life tends to be a lot of the same. Petitions? Lots of those. Contrition? Check. Thanksgiving? Even that I have down. Rarely does a prayer session begin or end without me giving thanks. But praise? I never seemed to get that one just right.

Because it was bothering me a bit, a few months ago, I started including some of the praise psalms in my morning prayers. And that helped... some. And I tried to be more aware of my need to praise God. I tried to add small acts of praise in my little prayers throughout the day. But they always seemed... forced, flat, uninspired.

Then, I started running. (This is a whole separate post). Suddenly, it mattered what songs were on the top of my Ipod list. (Note: I have a shuffle... absolutely perfect for my needs, but it doesn't allow for playlists... the only way I have to control what I listen to is the "start at the top" feature). I hooked up to the PC, began rearranging songs, looking for tempo more than content or artist. I redeemed the I-Tunes gift card the kids had given me for Mother's Day and added a few new songs.

At the very top of my list... the song that sets my pace and gets me going each morning is this:



Don't you want what he has? Don't you want to feel about God the way that he does? Wouldn't listening to this song get you moving? It sure does for me.

And so, I realized as I ran along this morning, that whether by coincidence or by Grace, the songs I have front-loaded in my ipod are all praise songs. I spend my morning run praising the Lord. And it feels so very right.

I found my pace... my running pace and my prayer pace. It just took a little of both to make praise soar high and not fall flat.

*****

What praise songs do you love? I am looking for recommendations with an upbeat tempo. There's still a balance on my I-Tunes card and I'm looking to spend it!

A Very Surprising Book Review

So, if I told you that a book arrived in the mail last Saturday afternoon, ten minutes before 65 people were coming over for a swim party/bbq... and that I had to force myself not to open the book and dig in right then, you might want to know a little more about that book, right?


Is it a new bestseller? A mystery? Romance?


Did J.K. Rowling send me a secret copy of an undisclosed 8th Harry Potter book? (Oh, how I wish!)


And when I tell you that I have devoured, and I mean devoured, this book in the past four days, I know you are going to want to know more about this book.

Surprised?

Did you expect me to tell you that the book I have been unable to put down for four days was a question-and-answer book on Canon Law?

Neither did I.

Truthfully, when I selected this book from The Catholic Company's Reviewer Program, I was a little nervous that I had bitten off more than I could chew. But, at the same time, I was intrigued. Canon law has always seemed... so mysterious, so complicated, so not-laity-friendly. Canon law was a subject for theologians. It was for them, not us.

Surprised by Canon Law, Vol. 2 blew that theory right out of the water. Pete Vere and Michael Trueman have written in a simple, straightforward, easy-to-understand manner. They take complex topics like Church Penal Law or the Canonization Process and explain them using ordinary language and everyday examples.

The question-and-answer format allowed me to absorb the information in little nuggets. And what information there is! How do parishes merge? (p. 50) Who can receive ordination to the diaconate or priesthood? (p. 19) What is excommunication? (p. 99) [Just a teaser here... the mainstream media has this one all wrong!] How can a priest be dismissed from clerical state but still remain a priest? (p.118) How are the cardinals shielded from the public during a papal election? (p. 85) Who is eligible to become a saint? (p. 75)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, but I would not recommend it to someone who has only a cursory understanding of the Catholic faith. If you don't know about the Real Presence in the Eucharist, and can't explain the difference between a Sacrament and a sacramental, this is not the book for you. Surprised by Canon Law, Vol. 2 is a book for those who are familiar with the basics of the Catholic faith, but are looking to deepen their understanding.

Now, I need to get my hands on a copy of Vol. 1 to see what I missed in the first go-around.

Review: Magnificat Subscription

Several years ago, I received a sample copy of the Magnificat, and watched as it gathered dust on my night table. The concept of the Magnificat appealed to me. I just didn't know how to make it a regular part of my prayer life.

For the past three years, I have bulk-ordered subscriptions of Magnifi-kid for my homeschool group. Created by the same people, Magnifi-kid is a kid-friendly weekly missal, filled with that week's readings, activities based on the liturgical calendar, stories of saints, and definitions and explanations of parts of the mass. Every time I've been on the Magnifi-kid website, I've paused at the Magnificat pages, wondering again if I might find this to be a useful addition to my prayer life.

When the opportunity came up to sample Magnificat again through The Catholic Company's Reviewer Program, I took it. Chris, the Free Book Dude, sent me a copy of the July Magnificat in mid-June and I spent a little time glancing through it. Then I relegated it to a spot on the top of my nightstand, hoping that this copy would not just be a dust collector.

I am happy to report that it has not collected any dust. Right from the start of this month, I've been using this little book at least twice a day. In fact, this month (more than any other), the Magnificat has been a lifesaver for me. You see, in addition to morning and evening prayers for every day (which have given me some more structure to those prayer times), the Magnificat includes the readings for daily mass every single day of the month. And this July, I have been having a very hard time getting to daily mass.

Typically, when I can't get to daily mass, I try to spend some time reading the day's readings. If I can do it online, I do. But many days, I end up flipping through a book of devotions that lists the day's chapters and verses, and then digging in my Bible for the correct pages. It doesn't take very long, but many days, I get lazy and end up skipping this important part of my prayer life.

This month, with the Magnificat so very handy, I've been able to keep up with the daily readings, even when DH's work schedule and family vacations have kept me from my daily mass. My morning and evening prayer time has benefited from the structure provided by the Magnificat.

And I am learning all kinds of new and interesting things... between daily profiles on saints and daily meditations based on the readings.

I have been pleasantly surprised to see just how handy this little book can be... just how much it has enhanced my prayer life. I am always a little hesitant to make a full year commitment to something I've only tried once, so I plan to pick up a copy of the August Magnificat to see if this continues to be a useful tool, or if it was a coincidental help during a particularly busy month. If the Magnificat proves to be as useful to me in August, I will definitely be adding a Magnificat subscription to my wishlist.

Ahhhhh... Vacation Bible Camp Week

It's 7:15 pm and my younger two children are asleep in their beds. The setting sunlight streams in over their sweet, sleepy eyes, while I bask in the extra hour of peace and quiet I've gained in my day.

To what to do I owe this incredible gift? Vacation Bible Camp. The kids were sufficiently worn out when I picked them up at noon, but just to top them off, we spent the afternoon swimming in the pool and followed that up with an hour in the air-conditioned playground at McDonalds.

DH and BigBro are out at All-Star Game festivities, and I am soaking up the silence, cat curled up on the couch next to me, cold glass of lemonade dripping condensation onto the windowsill, as I eye the book laying next to the laptop. It's time to log off and start reading. This quiet time is way too precious to waste.

A Name Change

Princess has made the final, mental leap from clinging to swimming in the pool. To celebrate this accomplishment, she has decided that her name now will be "Mermaid Fish Princess."

(Mind you, that's her new real name, not her blog-name).

Nothing like elevating our family's status with a little aquatic royalty.

An Ordinary Moment

We are gathered here in the family room, lights on in the middle of the day, to stave off fear from a severe thunderstorm, the midday darkness not fitting for a July afternoon.

Within minutes, the fear dissipates into laughter, as BigBro opens the K'nex box and starts putting a roller coaster together. LilBro confiscates the coaster piece and begins racing it agains the motor piece.

"Ready, set go!" He yells, as he zooms the pieces across the area rug, one hand on each piece, guiding their progress.

BigBro gives orders to Princess. "I need the puffy purple piece. Ok, now, I need a long blue rod."

DH sits on the other side of the couch, happily exploring the iPhone-land and its never-ending app possibilities. And me, I sit tucked in the corner of the couch, laptop on knees, my usual pose.

I pause in thanks and praise. For this moment. For these beautiful children. For this generous husband. For shelter from the storm. For quiet play on a rainy day.

For the awareness and the blessing of it all.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 12

-1-

DH's safe trip/return. DH was gone all week for work. This was the first time he's had to travel since the end of March (and while it's always harder with him gone, it's much harder when we aren't used to it). But he had a safe trip to and from the east, returning last night to a very happy-to-see-him wife. There is blessing in the safe trip, in the good and valuable work done, and also in my missing him. Sometimes it's good to be reminded just how much I love him, just how very precious he is to me, my very-best-friend-in-the-world.

-2-

Exercising again. After a really committed winter of regular treadmill time, I hit an emotional speed bump in early May, and quit exercising. Last month, I confessed to Father that I had not been taking care of myself, and furthermore, I didn't want to. Just leave me alone, thank you very much. Father suggested that I pray for the willingness to care for myself, to love myself as God does. I didn't have to get back on the treadmill. It was enough to pray for the willingness to get on the treadmill.

Well, that I could do. And so I prayed as I walked past the dust-covered treadmill. After a few weeks of praying, I began to think about cleaning off the dust and firing the baby back up. A few days later, I did just that.

Now, I have completed two weeks of regular, aerobically challenging exercise. I am finding myself looking forward to my time on the treadmill every day. And I keep on praying for the willingness to continue to care for myself.

It is a real blessing to be caring for myself and to care about caring for myself again.

-3-

Our swimming pool. I realize that we are blessed to own a swimming pool. Our above-ground pool gets a lot of action all summer long, filled with friends and kids laughing and splashing. The kids and I are in there practically every single day all summer long. This summer, I've watched as Princess learns to swim on her own without any flotation help, as she battles her fears and dog-paddles her way around the perimeter of the pool. BigBro is working on mastering the crawl stroke and refining his multiple variations of the cannonball jump.

Today, we are hosting BigBro's baseball team, Princess' t-ball team, LilBro's t-ball team and their families for a massive pool party. Much fun, laughter, friendship and splashing will be had. And the opportunity to share our blessing with our friends multiplies the sweetness of it all.

*****

And you... how have you seen His hand in your life this week?

My Place in the Imaginary Pecking Order

LilBro: "Mom, I'm not a kitty anymore. I'm a baby dragon now."

Me: "What do you like about being a baby dragon?"

LilBro: "Being with my Mommy Dragon."

Me (internal awww): "So, I'm a Mommy Dragon?"

LilBro: "No. Princess is the Mommy Dragon. BigBro is the Daddy Dragon."

Me: "Well, what does that make me?"

LilBro: "You're just a person."

Book Review: St. Gianna Beretta Molla

Admittedly, I know very little about the modern saints, the less-well-known saints. So, when The Catholic Company had this book on St. Gianna Beretta Molla available for review, my interest was piqued. A saint who (had she lived) would be the same age as my mother-in-law? Fascinating.

"A Modern Day Hero of Divine Love" is a short, easy read about the life of St. Gianna. This book gives us a very personal look into the life and the thoughts of this mother, wife, and physician.

Beginning with a letter from her husband, and filled with photographs of St. Gianna and her family, Thomas McKenna introduced me to this holy and faithful woman. St. Gianna was raised in Italy in the early decades of the 20th century. She grew up faithful to the Catholic Church, attending daily mass and praying often. She was trained as a pediatrician, and considered taking her training into missionary work. However, she was, instead, called to marriage and motherhood.

In 1961, this mother of 3 children under age 4 became pregnant again. She learned early on that she had a fibroid tumor in her uterus. She chose the most dangerous course of treatment for herself: removal of the tumor while protecting her unborn child. Throughout the remainder of this high-risk pregnancy, Gianna repeatedly told her husband that if he ever had to choose between the health of her baby or herself, to choose the baby. Her daughter, Gianna Emmanuela, was born healthy and full-term in April 1962. St. Gianna, however, suffered from septic peritonitis as a result of the birth and died 8 days later. She was beatified by Pope John Paul II in 1994 and was canonized on May 16, 2004.

As I read this book, and looked at all of the family pictures within it (including a really cute picture of St. Gianna on the day of her First Holy Communion in 1928), I did feel as though I was getting to know her. At the same time, though, I was struck with this nagging thought: Really? Yes, she was a good, holy, faithful woman. But, really? There didn't seem to be anything extraordinary about her... lots of holy, faithful women die as a result of childbirth. Lots of holy, faithful people live their faith every day. What made St. Gianna so special that Pope John Paul II canonized her?

A few days later, I had the rare opportunity to sit in my parish church alone, enjoying some quiet prayer time. Again, my thoughts turned to St. Gianna. I was bothered by the fact that I doubted her "saintliness." After a time, I felt compelled to turn and look at the back of the church. My parish is named for St. Dominic Savio, and we have a statue of the saint in the back of the church. St. Dominic Savio was a holy, faithful boy - a student of St. John Bosco - who died of an illness at age 15. Four years of preparing Sunday school lessons on our patron saint, and I don't know much more than that about him. He was a good, holy, faithful boy, who died a tragic, young death.

As I sat in my church, I began to understand. Perhaps the gift of these "ordinary" saints - St. Gianna Beretta Molla and St. Dominic Savio - is that they show us that sainthood really is possible, even for us "ordinary" folks. We can't all be great mystics and doctors of the church. We can't all renounce all our belongings and start our own religious orders. But what we can all do is live each day for Christ. Be faithful to the Church. Love one another in our words and in our deeds. Be an example to each other. And that is exactly what St. Gianna is for me... a real-life example of a loving, devoted mother and wife, who loved God more than herself, and showed that love in living and in dying.

"A Modern Day Hero of Divine Love" is the perfect title for this short but informative biography. This is a book I will be passing along to my friends. If there is one thing us mothers need, it's more examples of the holiness of our vocation. St. Gianna Beretta Molla, please pray for us.

The Honeysuckle in My Life

In the past few years, honeysuckle has taken over the retaining wall at the back of our yard. I usually spend at least part of the spring/summer fighting it back. Last summer, several circumstances combined to keep me from my annual tackling of it, and it multiplied and spread with confidence. I kept meaning to get out there and clear it off in March, while it was still dead and easy to remove, but that never happened.

So, in May, when the new growth had taken over the dead vines from last year, and the whole mess threatened to creep even further into the yard, I started in on it all. It took me hours, and filled seven 50-gallon lawn bags, but in the end, I had gained several feet in our yard, and a clean, crisp look for the back wall.

I had every intention of putting down some weed killer, lawn fabric and spreading mulch in an attempt to keep this clean look on my back wall. But, life got in the way. I was sick. It was too rainy. Then it was too hot.

So, yesterday morning, when I looked out onto the backyard, I saw with disappointment that the honeysuckle was back. So, I dragged a yard waste can to the back and started in again. BigBro came by to see if I needed help, and pointed out that this was a lot of work. "Mom, you just did this a few weeks ago. Look at this mess again."

I did. I stopped and looked at it. Piles of vine on the ground, new shoots where I thought I had pulled at the roots. He was right. It was a mess.

But it really wasn't different from any other part of my life... external, or internal. The dirty laundry piles up in exactly the same way. The dishes, the dust, the crumbs on the floor. And so, I pointed out to BigBro, this is life... the willingness to tackle the messes as they continue to come up.

And not just the messes we see. The same things happen in my heart. Resentments rise where I thought I had offered forgiveness. Annoyances pile up. Anger shoots through despite my plucking at its roots. And here, too, I need to clean up the mess. I need to tackle the overgrowth before it takes over my life.

Success is not measured by the number of lawn bags I filled the first time I cleared the honeysuckle. No, the only measure of true success is my willingness to get out there again and again, to keep plucking at this invasive vine, every single time it tries to overtake my wall, my yard, my life.

I Stand Corrected

After more than a year of coveting, hinting, sending me emails, leaving ads lying in conspicuous places, and otherwise outright begging, DH got an iPhone for Father's Day. (Ok, so it wasn't exactly a gift. I made him work for it... using his corporate discount and renegotiating a deal with AT&T that bundled all of our services into one, and actually brought the monthly cost of the iPhone in line with what we were paying for his crappy phone).

I have spent the better part of the past two weeks shrugging my shoulders and rolling my eyes as he drinks his fake beer, plays with the lightsaber and let's the kids pop the bubble wrap. A lot of money to pay for a glorified toy.

Last Friday, DH added iMissal to his apps, and admittedly, I was a little jealous at the ease with which he has the daily readings at his fingertips. Saturday night, I told him that it would be great if there was some way he could access our family calendar from his iPhone. Is there an app for that?

Well, as it turns out, there is. So yesterday, I jumped into the 21st century with both feet and transferred our family's activities from my paper calendar onto Google calendar. Last night, we took less than five minutes to sync his iPhone to our family calendar. Any updates I make to the calendar are automatically displayed on his iPhone. He can even make updates to the calendar from his phone. (Wait, he can make updates to my calendar! Deep breath. It's ok, Jen. Detach... detach... let go of the control freak ... deep, cleansing breath).

This morning, when I opened my email, we had a message from DH, filled with pictures of the "paper" airplane sculptures in the Cleveland airport. Instant communication, including pictures for the kids, while he is away on business... well, this "glorified toy" is looking better and better to me each day.

I can admit it... I was wrong. I am glad that DH was able to work it out and finally got himself an iPhone. And not just because it makes him so very happy.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 11

Happy 4th of July edition of weekly blessings!

-1-

The United States of America. It wouldn't be fitting to celebrate our nation's birthday without recognizing what a blessing it is to live in this country, in the early part of the 21st century. Yes, we are a flawed people. Yes, our "democracy" (or rather, republic) has its issues. But, there are good, solid reasons why our government "of the people, for the people, and by the people" has become the model for representative government in the past 200 years. You need to look no further than our current president to see that the "American Dream" is still possible: that you really can come from nothing and end up as President of the United States.

And so, today I pause to recognize the incredible blessing of being an American. I am thankful that my grandparents made the trek across the Atlantic Ocean in 1929, enduring the difficulties of starting life anew in a strange country, so that I can sit here in my air-conditioned home, laptop on lap, eighty years later, enjoying the many blessings of this life. I am grateful for the freedoms guaranteed by our Constitution: I am free to practice my faith, to feel secure in my own home, to express my dissent... by my words, by my actions, and by my vote.

Today, of all days, I need to remember and offer thanks for these freedoms... which I consider so basic, I rarely notice them... these same freedoms that people are dying for right now, in other parts of the world.

-2-

Some (much needed) time alone. This week, I headed back down to the Hermitage for a few days. DH was off work on Friday, and I took the opportunity to have 2 days of peace and quiet. The time alone was a blessing. The chance to get some work done, uninterrupted. The peace and the quiet. Sleeping in. Long walks. Sitting quietly along the edge of the Mississippi. All of it is such an incredible blessing.

-3-

A Lazy Week. This week was a lazy week. As absolutely crazy and over-scheduled as last week was, this week was the complete opposite. We hung around. We swam a lot. The kids made crafts and art projects. They made huge messes. We cleaned them up. It was just ... relaxed. Lots of sleeping in, sucking on popsicles, reading, imaginative play, and late afternoon naps (for me, at least, if not for them).

Ahh... just enjoying the lazy days of summer. Now, this is a blessing I can get used to!

*****

Where and how has God blessed you this week?

Jesus and the Time Machine

This morning, as DH was getting dressed, I read today's Gospel to him. We began discussing the demoniacs, and I commented that it was interesting to note that the evil spirits always recognized Jesus as someone different. But the "ordinary" folk often dismissed him or ignored him. I said that He must have had some sort of aura (for lack of a better word). Something about him that set him apart... particularly noticeable to evil spirits and likely also to others who were "tuned in" (again, for lack of better words).

DH responded that if he had a time machine, he'd go there in a heartbeat: beginning of the 1st century AD, in and around Jerusalem, before you could snap your fingers. "I want to see Him. I want to see what He was really like. I want to talk to Him."

"Though, He'd probably give me a hard time," DH continued. "What are you doing here? What about your wife and kids? Why'd you leave the 21st century and come all the way back here?"

"Thomas asks to touch His hands and feet and for the next 20 centuries, is branded 'Doubting Thomas.' What do you think they'd say about you?" I laughed.

On the other hand, is there anyone else in the whole of human history I'd rather meet, given the chance?

image source

It Just Figures...

that on the one morning I choose to sleep in, cuddling with DH, Princess and LilBro all tucked in our bed rather than bolting out of bed at 6:12 to make it to mass on time,

that on the one morning I am still hanging in my pj's, hair and teeth unbrushed,

that this would be the morning that Father would stop by at 8:35 am to drop off a basket of goodies he won at an auction for the kids.

Nothing like starting the day with a little dose of humility.