I DID IT!!!!!!!!

I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ran 3.1 miles this morning, in the Race for a Child sponsored by the Boys Club Alumni Association.

Official times aren't posted yet, but I saw the clock as I came through the finish line, and I was just about 37:30! (For the record, that's 5 minutes faster than the time I run this on the treadmill!)

It was an awesome run. I was so happy to be doing it, so cheered on by the volunteers and spectators clapping for us. I knew that I was making good time by the song on my ipod when I came around the final bend and saw the Boys Club ahead of me. But I had no idea for another quarter mile just how good my time was!

I was so blessed to have my friend Kathy at the finish line cheering, taking pictures, and grabbing me in the loudest, happiest hug! Several other runners came over to congratulate me on my first run. (I guess all the screaming and cheering gave me away!) It was awesome!

Then, I stretched, drank two bottles of water, and we waited for our friends to finish the race. (They both walked).

What an awesome day! I am so proud of myself and so psyched to do another race sometime in September!

One down, twenty-four to go... my goal is 25 5Ks by my 40th birthday... May 3, 2012.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 19

The hey-today-I-am-running-a-5K version:

-1-

Princess is ok. After our little scare and trip to the ER on Tuesday morning, Princess has bounced back quickly, and is doing just fine. Thank God for the blessings of healthcare, health insurance, antibiotics, and especially that, this time, her pain could be relieved without any extraordinary measures.

-2-

The start of my Quiet Fridays. Yesterday was the first Friday morning that all of my kids were in school: BigBro and Princess at homeschool enrichment classes, and LilBro at preschool (which he absolutely loves, by the way). I didn't do anything incredibly exciting with my free time, just some errands that were better done without the entourage, but it is a blessing in my life all the same. What a win-win: they have fun, I get some free time, and we all come back together happy to see each other.

-3-

The completion of 2 really smooth weeks of school. We're two weeks in, and all is going well so far. We have the start of a great routine. I get my mass/prayer/run done early, and we all gather in the school room at 8:30 for prayer, saint of the week, poem of the week, and Pledge of Allegience. Then, LilBro wanders off to put puzzles together, create with play dough, or play with his cars. Princess and I go over the calendar, weather, and get started on her phonics. Meanwhile, BigBro works through the subjects he can do independently, setting aside those that require my attention. When Princess is done with her work (and sometimes, when she is completing an assignment independently), BigBro and I work together.

We finish by lunch nearly every day, and our afternoons are filled with activities, chores, and play dates. I really wasn't sure how it would go with two students at such different levels, but it's working well (so far). I think it helps BigBro that Princess is working, too. He's not the only one "stuck doing school" while the others are off playing. Of course, there's still the grumbling that he has more work to do than his sister. Such is the case with being the oldest... there's always something that seems "unfair" (until you look at things like privileges or bedtimes, of course!).

*****

Have you taken the time to thank Him for all the ways He's blessed you this week?

There's Still Time for One More First

Don't let the cooler temperatures, the fact that our central A/C has been off for the past week, or the end of the second week of school fool you: it's still summer here in the midwest.

Yesterday afternoon, when school and chores were done, we got back into the pool. After the initial sting of the cool water (courtesy of those cooler nights!), it felt great, and I laughed as I saw Princess climb down the ladder and take off swimming across the pool, without any flotation aid at all. Wow. What a summer it's been for her.

We'd been swimming for about fifteen minutes when she swam over to me, her brow pursed in thought.

"Mommy, someday, when I am bigger, I'll be able to jump into the pool just like the big kids do."

"You can do that right now, you know. If you jump in, your feet will touch the bottom and then you'll come back up. Just like when you push down to the bottom and come back up while you're swimming."

"Really?" Princess paused. "I can really jump in right now? Like the big kids?"

She considered this for a few minutes. I offered to catch her, hold her hand, whatever she needed. Fear began to tighten its grip, and she started to cry. She wanted to jump in so badly, but she was terrified.

Finally, we jumped together, holding hands. As she came back up to the surface, she started to cry but quickly switched to a laugh. That wasn't so scary after all.

Ten minutes later, after gradually trying jumps with less and less assistance from me, I was told to go back in the pool and watch.

There she was... my freckled five year old, jumping and swimming and cannon-balling, and listing all the things she could do "just like the big kids."

Summer, stick around a little longer, please... I'm having an awful lot of fun watching my daughter growing and learning. Surely, there's time for at least one more first?

Prayer Models

On this feast day of Saint Monica, I consider prayer. St. Paul exhorts us to "pray without ceasing." St. Monica lived that advice. She was instrumental in the conversion of her husband and her son (St. Augustine... who's feast day is tomorrow) through 30 years of constant prayer and petition.

Prayer has been foremost on my mind this week. The week began with Sunday afternoon's retreat planning session at Vision of Peace, where prayer was a focus of the talks and a necessary component of completing the work. Monday, I started an often-stilted attempt to set several "prayer stops" into my day. Tuesday morning found me praying in fear for my daughter.

And then I came across this picture, courtesy of 24 Hours in Pictures:

Photograph: Indranil Mukherjee/AFP/Getty

The caption reads: Mumbai, India: Hindu holy men chant mantras and pray in the Varuna Yajna ritual to appease the rain God at the Sankara Mattham

I can't help but be inspired by the lengths to which these men have gone to pray to and praise their god. We have different beliefs, but we seek the same Truth.

These men sit in public, in a barrel of water, and chant praise to their god. What's stopping me? What am I allowing to distract me from prayer?

A Work in Progress

Sometimes I am amazed when I step back and look - really look - at this lump of clay that the Potter is attempting to shape in His own image. This clay is misshapen, pock-marked, riddled with broken bits and hardened pieces. And every morning, He gently picks it up, warms it in His hands, and begins again the process of shaping and molding me.

What part do I play in this process?

I am learning. I am learning to bend my will to the Potter's, and not to fight the pressure of His hands. I am learning to pause and listen ... to Him and not my ego.

I am learning to stop throughout my day and reorient toward Him. It's not enough for me to think about stopping and reorienting. It's not enough for me to attempt the reorientation without stopping. For neither of those brings me any closer to Him.

No, I must stop. I must pause all activity. I need to turn toward Him consciously. Invite Him into my day. Place myself once more in the palm of His hands, feel His warmth smoothing my rough spots, softening the places which have begun to harden.

The days when I fight it, get too busy for it, or just plain forget the stop, I become an idol. I cease remembering that I am clay, that it is not about me. It's about the beauty and usefulness the Potter can bring forth from me.

It's not about me. It's about Him. His plans. His goals. His hands. His clay. His creation.

What's Different Now

There is nothing like parenting to bring you face-to-face with the reality that you are not in control. Sometimes, it's the ordinary things, like sleep issues or potty training. But when your child is ill, especially extraordinarily ill, your utter lack of control hits like a blast of icy water. My daughter is in pain. And there is nothing I can do to relieve it.

Early this morning, I took Princess to the Emergency Room. It's not the first visit for her. She had a ruptured cyst at 3 months, and an abdominal mass at 19 months. We've spent our share of time in Children's ER.

She woke me about 5 AM in extreme pain, crying and writhing, worsening when I tried to touch her belly. I called the pediatrician's exchange and spoke with a nurse. She continued to cry out in pain. I woke DH and got dressed. Princess couldn't walk, so I carried her to the car and drove to the ER.

I prayed along the way. Hail Marys and Memorares kept me focused as I sped along the highway.

The first time we found ourselves here, five years ago, my faith was weak. I knew I needed God, but I didn't know how to get to Him. A Deacon from our parish prayed with us in the OR waiting room, but for my part, the prayer felt false and stilted.

The second time, four years ago, I was better at asking for the prayers of others. That felt more natural. But I still struggled to pray myself. I didn't have a solid relationship with God, and it felt hypocritical to beg for help now. Though, beg I did.

This time, I knew exactly where I needed to be: on my knees. As I dressed this morning, I grabbed my favorite rosary off the hook next to my bed and tucked it into my pocket. I began with the simplest prayers, "Please, God. Please," and moved on to the familiar, comforting ones.

We reached the ER and Princess was calm... calmer than she'd been in over an hour. She was perking up, and starting to seem more like herself again. The clamminess on her skin was gone. We checked in, and given her history and complaints, were whisked into a room. Within minutes, a doctor entered the room, spoke with her, asked me some questions and examined her belly. Her pain had dissipated. The doctor requested a urine sample, and very quickly, we had our answer: severe urinary tract infection. Relief flooded over me, and we were back in the car a short time later, prescription in my hand, cherry popsicle in Princess'.

Back at home, I got Princess settled with a cup of cranberry juice, a yogurt, and the latest episode of "Curious George" before I slipped away to my bedroom. Once there, I sank to my knees and began to sob. In relief. In gratitude. In recognition of all that He knows that I don't. In humble acceptance that I am not in control... not even close. But Someone is. And He will never fail me, even as I fail Him, again and again.

As the stress of the morning slipped out of my body, I paused to offer one more prayer. This time, in thanksgiving, for the gift of my faith and the difference my faith makes in my life ... on the completely ordinary mornings just as much as on the really difficult ones.

Seeking Peace

Saturday afternoon, I headed back down to the Vision of Peace Hermitages in Pevely, MO. This time, I didn't go alone; I brought three friends with me. We were blessed with absolutely perfect weather: clear, crisp days, highs in the mid-70s, light breezes through the trees.

Because we each had different schedules on Sunday, we caravaned down to Pevely, rather than riding together. When I pulled off the highway, I turned off the radio and began to soak in the silence. Two miles later, I turned into the driveway and took a deep breath. The half-mile driveway from the main road rises and dips in heavily shaded gravel. Within seconds, I am stepping out of the car and soaking up the beauty, the peace, the silence, and the comfort that is Vision of Peace.

The director, Larry Ponder, and I got my friends settled. We made arrangements to meet in the parking lot in time to leave for mass. And I settled into Beautiful Earth, my home away from home. I was restless at first. I unpacked. I set out the spiritual books, my Bible, my laptop. I considered the work I needed to do in preparation for the retreat I am running in 3 weeks. But I wasn't ready to tackle that project just yet.

So I pulled out a novel, stretched out on the bed, and dozed off. A short time later, I woke enough to realize I needed to set the alarm, or I would miss mass. Assured that I would wake in time, I drifted back into a deep, peaceful sleep, lulled by the sounds of the woods.

After mass and dinner, the four of us gathered on the deck, sharing a bottle of wine, as we talked politics and fiction, church business and movies. At one point, an owl swooped overhead. We listened to the sounds of the birds, the crickets, the occasional barge swimming upriver.

Sunday morning, I woke to the sounds of nature. I sat alongside the river to pray before my morning run. And again, after my run. And to eat breakfast. And then my friend and I climbed down to the riverbanks, and soaked up the peace in that place. I have never seen the Mississippi so still... so gentle... so quiet.

After lunch, I spent 4 hours laying out the plans for retreat sessions, interspersed here and there with pauses for prayer. When I was finally ready to leave, I loaded up the car, and paused once more... to gaze at the river, to offer a prayer of thanksgiving, and to soak up the silence one last time.

I kept the radio off in the car on my way home, doing my best to keep the silence and the peace with me, for as long as I can.

Book Review: Spiritual Freedom

When we got home from vacation last month, this book, Spiritual Freedom by Fr. Dave Pivonka, T.O.R. was waiting for me from The Catholic Company's Reviewer Program. I opened it, and read through it very quickly... marking pages and underlining passages throughout.

But I wasn't ready to review it yet. There was too much information here. I needed to set this book aside for a bit.

I picked it up again last week, ready to delve in more deeply. Fr. Pivonka lays out a path for us to achieve true freedom... that freedom which comes from God. "We need to be able to ask God for the grace to see ourselves as He sees us. It is imperative for us to remember that, first and foremost, you and I are children of a loving Father and that we happen to make mistakes; we sin. [...] We must define ourselves in the positive -- who we are, children -- not in the negative by what we do, sin." (p.27-28)

Filled with personal anecdotes and lots of examples, this easy-to-read book is not the least bit fluffy. It is deeply spiritual, and very practical. I have no less than eighteen pages dog-eared, and I have returned to sections again and again. For example, in the chapter on prayer, Fr. Pivonka offers straightforward advice. "Prayer is not an option. [...] Prayer is not simply a duty, it is one of the primary ways to approach God." (p.123-124) He follows this up with examples and suggestions to deepen our prayer lives.

When I first sat down with this book in July, I thought I would read through it quickly and pass it along. But after a few chapters, I gave up that notion. There were too many useful nuggets of information, too many new ways to approach my relationship with God hidden in these pages. I picked up a pencil and began marking the book for places I needed to return over and over.

Spiritual Freedom sits on my nightstand, in a highly coveted spot. I pick it up several times a week, and always, always, gain something in perspective or insight when I do. I will recommend this book to others, but they can't have this copy... I'm too busy using it.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 18

-1-

A Great First Week of School. This week went really well. LilBro had a great time at his new preschool. Princess loved (and I mean loved) kindergarten. BigBro jumped into 2nd grade with two feet, and a minimal amount of whining. We got started on time each day, and I even managed to fit in my runs before school nearly every day.

-2-

A Friend-filled week. Four afternoons this week were friend-filled. Playdates, new homeschool playgroups, back-to-school swim and ice cream party, and a sleep over. The kids had a great time. We all relaxed. There was a ton of laughter. A good way to cap off a morning of school.

-3-

Running. Not to become a broken record here, but my running is a real blessing in my life. This morning, a week before the 5K, I got up early, dressed, prayed, picked up my friend, and ran three miles around the high school track.

I don't think I ever completed more than one or two laps on the high school track in my 4 years of high school. And, I did it 4 minutes faster than my best time on the treadmill!

I am ready. The race is next Saturday morning. I can't wait. And I can't believe this is me... truly, this whole running thing is from Above... and I am so very grateful for the blessing of it in my life.

*****

Where have you noticed His Hand in your life this week?

Open-Minded Schooling

So, I can't remember if I mentioned this here, but LilBro is enrolled in our parish preschool for this year. He will be attending the 3 year old pre-K program two mornings a week, beginning this Friday.

It's a first for me. Neither Princess nor BigBro ever attended preschool. In fact, I have said (as recently as Saturday evening, filling out the emergency info forms for preschool), that I don't think this recent trend in pushing academics younger and younger is a good idea. Kids, especially little kids, need time to just be. There is a lot of learning in just living.

Yet... LilBro starts school on Friday. Seven hours a week, in the care of someone else, learning and growing (and probably challenging and fighting a bit, once he's gotten comfortable) away from me.

It was a strange decision; one that came quickly -- though not without pausing for prayer and discussion -- in June. And it is helped, in great deal, by the fact that I know his teacher... and she is exactly the type of preschool teacher that every child deserves: positive, joyful, creative, encouraging, and truly happy to spend her day in the presence of a bunch of 3 year olds. This is a gift from God. (Trust me... it's not easy. Four years of teaching Sunday School to 3 and 4 year olds for one hour, one Sunday a month... man, I have not been similarly gifted!)

And I am confident that LilBro is going to have a great time. He will learn some new social skills, make some new friends, and for seven hours a week, he won't be the little brother. He'll get to be just ... LilBro.

This will give me some concentrated time on Tuesday mornings to focus on Princess and BigBro. And, since the older two have homeschool enrichment classes on Friday mornings, this will give me a few hours, every week, to myself.

My standard line to well-meaning friends and strangers who ask how long I'll homeschool has always been, "we take this decision child-by-child, and year-by-year." But, truthfully, my heart leans strongly toward homeschooling them all... for as long as I can, and so, deep down, I never fully believed that answer.

I'm as surprised by this choice as many of my friends. But I'm also looking forward to it. I'm excited for LilBro. I'm looking forward to my quiet Fridays, and to more focused Tuesdays.

And... as for pre-K 4... well, we'll just have to see.

Glimpses of our First Day

We started our day with yummy Cranberry-Blueberry muffins:

After my run, I walked into the family room to see that Princess had started without me:

We moved into the school room, and BigBro got right to work:

Princess and I went over her math, while LilBro worked puzzles in the living room (you can see him in the background):

A very satisfied 3 year old (he did it all himself!):

We are ready for lunch, and then a Back-to-School celebration with some of our friends, complete with these tasty and fun cupcakes!


A very successful start to our school year. May the rest of the year go as smoothly!

The Last Day

School starts up again tomorrow for us. We've been off for 3 months, and I think all of us are ready to get back to it. I know that I miss the routine of it all... even while I know that it will be a bit of a struggle to get back into the structure the first few days.

So, today we are having a lazy, summer day. I am baking "back-to-school" cupcakes for an afternoon treat tomorrow. I am baking muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Tonight, after they go to sleep, I will hang streamers at the bottom of the stairs. Anything to make tomorrow a special day: the first day of our new school year.

Tomorrow, we have a morning filled with books and lessons and projects. We have an afternoon filled with friends, cupcakes and fun.

But today, we have laziness. We have family time. We are swimming, playing, reading, watching tv, stretching out and enjoying just being together. A quiet, peace-filled day right before we jump back into the busy waters of school-and-activity-filled life.

Thank God for the quiet moments amidst the chaos of ordinary life.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 17

-1-

Time with Friends. This week offered me several opportunities to go out and catch up with some of my friends. It was such a huge blessing to have the time to relax, chat, share our news, and enjoy some yummy food (and margaritas!) together. Always good to be reminded what a blessing friends are!

-2-

Photo Books. On Monday, I got an email advertising 50% off printed photo books for this week. Monday night, I had some free time, and uploaded our vacation pics, designed a quick book, and ordered 2 copies (one for us, one for my folks). The whole experience was so satisfying that I then created a photo book of DH's basement project, and a photo book showcasing the first half of 2009. They arrived today, and I am very pleased with the results... the amount of effort and the expense were all very doable.

Now, to fully appreciate the magnitude of this blessing, you need to know that I have not printed a single picture since LilBro was 3 months old. (Just in case you forgot, he is 3 1/2 years old now). We take a TON of pictures, and I back them up and file the backup copies in the safe every few months. But I am terrible about printing pics and putting them in albums. So terrible that this has become a monkey on my back... a real source of "mommy guilt."

So... a huge blessing, a huge sigh of relief, and some more time to take advantage of this sale, which doesn't end until midnight tonight! Looks like the kids might get birthday photo books, too!

-3-

Mommy-Daughter Special Time. Today is a special day for Princess and me. We have a date for lunch at a little restaurant, and some time together wandering around, not being boys. She has been dancing and singing all week, in anticipation of our special time together. And, truth be told, I've been really looking forward to it, too. She is such an absolute delight to be with, to talk to, to see with her eyes. And it is a blessing to be able to give her my full attention, and to soak up all the good Princess-ness that there is in her.

*****

Well, what about you? What blessings have graced your week?

Food for Prayer

From my inbox this morning:

Daily Prayer for August 14, 2009

Caring Jesus, in order to love fully I must learn to break free of my self-centered ways and open myself fully to others. And when I pray, Lord, I must forget about myself and focus solely on You. Help me to let go of my selfishness so that I may give myself fully to You and Your people. Amen.

Hmmmm..... now that's something I needed to read today.

The Blessings of "Not Working"

In the past few weeks, several people have made comments along the lines of "Jen doesn't work, so...." Every single time, DH became indignant and defensive. Every single time, I laughed.

Now, I don't want to start some sort of working-mom vs at-home-mom debate. We all do what is best for our families (or, what we need to do for our families, as the case may be). But the frequency of these comments this summer (after seven years of "not working") got DH and me talking about this topic in some depth.

I know that the people who made these comments don't, in any way, mean that I lay around all day, watching "Oprah" and eating bon-bons. (Though, maybe, judging from the ever-messy state of my house, they do think I do that). And I certainly don't need to list off all the things I do every day to keep our family running, to educate the kids, to keep the health department at bay. You all know what that list looks like (at least, most of it).

Which is why I laughed, why I was never insulted, never took the comments seriously. Besides, as I pointed out to DH (and keep reminding myself on a daily basis): it's not about me. I wasn't given the gift of this life to glorify myself; I am here to glorify God, and to do the work He's given me to do.

I don't need to justify the choices DH and I are making for our family. I don't need to show off my to-do list or enumerate our sacrifices. I just need to pause and be thankful. Because my life is so deeply blessed. Because we have such an abundance (even as we often have to "make do" until payday). Because I get to stay home. I get to homeschool. I get to be the one who sees the little lightbulbs go off, who hears Princess whoop with glee as she masters something new, who knows my children so well that I know when to push, when to step back, and when to change gears.

It's the beginning of another school year. It's a good time to pause and take stock. To count my blessings. To offer up praise and thanksgiving: for all that we have, for these three incredible children, for early readers and science books, for fresh playdough and fingerpaints, for spelling lists and poem-of-the-week and saint-of-the-day and co-op classes and chess club starting and for the most amazing thing of all... this life I live. This life of loving husband and active children and clutter and mess and never-ending laundry and friends so dear that they speak their minds and hearts, and ....

5K!

I did it! I ran 3.1 miles this morning, without stopping. And I feel fantastic!

I can't believe that I started this seven weeks ago today, walking for a minute and running for a minute, for a total of 20 minutes, completely and totally worn out at the end of that time. And now, I am running for more than 40 minutes non-stop.

I never, ever in my life thought I could do this. I never, ever thought I would be a runner.

WOW.

What else does He have in store for me, that I never, ever thought would be possible?

Blessings of the Week - vol. 16

Another quick, fun and busy week has gone by... filled with blessings all the same:

-1-

Finding our Six Flags Reading Tickets. Yes, I had lost them (for the second year in a row). Yes, I am far from the perfect mom. Yes, I knew better than to mention Six Flags to my kids for fear that they would know the full measure of my imperfection. I spent much of the past few weeks tearing the house apart, organizing and cleaning, always hoping/praying to come across those tickets before the Aug 5 date my friends had set. Unbelievably, on Tuesday afternoon, I found them... in the exact spot I've checked numerous times. So, we went to the park on Wed, and had a fabulous time! Now, that's a blessing!

-2-

Being Ready - A Week Early. We are ready for the first day of school. The school room and the living room bookshelves are organized. The lessons are planned. Library books are ordered. Printouts are printed out and filed in the appropriate folders. I am ready. And I still have a whole week left to relax and enjoy "summer vacation!"

-3-

The Aug 29 Race Deadline. I am getting there... this week, I was able to run 2.5 miles every day. Which means that I have 3 more weeks, and only just over half a mile more to add to my running time. But that race is a huge motivator for me... it gets me on the treadmill nearly every day. And my running time has made a very big difference in my life. I am so calm on the days I run. I yell so much less. I feel so much less stressed. I can handle whatever comes my way (whiny kids, plumbing issues, lots of meetings, even extra business trips on DH's calendar) in the peaceful way I had always dreamed of.

I've often said that I want a glass of whatever it is Michelle Duggar is drinking. I have only 1/6 the number of children she has, and I'm a screaming mess most of the time. Turns out, all I really needed was to run until my body gave up in exhaustion, and then let the adrenaline and endorphin rush carry me the rest of the way through my day.

I still don't like exercising. I still have to talk myself into getting on that treadmill. But, man, I am so grateful for it... I like this Jen so much more than the lazy Jen. She's just a lot more pleasant to be around.

So, I am very grateful for the blessing of this race deadline. The deadline, coupled with my pride, gets me moving every single morning, even on those days when I am feeling really lazy.

*****

In what ways has God blessed and motivated you this week?

Eight Weeks

Eight weeks ago this week, we opened the pool for the summer. It was a process getting the pool opened this year, and when we finally got in there for the first time, Princess screamed bloody murder, wanting to get right back out. She was terrified. Even while wearing a lifejacket and clinging to me.

I remained calm. We went through this every spring... after 9 months out of the water, there were bound to be some butterflies-in-the-stomach about getting back in. But I was also determined: this was going to be the summer that she learned to swim without any flotation help.

We talked about the importance of swim lessons. Princess made herself a "swim practice chart." (She loves charts of any kind). And we began. For just a few minutes nearly every day, she was required to practice swimming with me, without flotation help.

At first, she fought, she cajoled, she tried to giggle and flirt her way out of the lessons. I stayed firm. Slowly, the little squares on her practice chart were filled. Gradually, her confidence began to build. She was still afraid, but she knew - deep down - that she could do it.

Then, we hosted her t-ball team (and her brothers' ball teams) for a pool party on a Saturday in mid-July. And she was swimming. That was it. Seeing her friends in the pool, and wanting to be a part of the fun was exactly the motivation she'd been needing. From that point on, we've worked on building her strength. I've spent a lot more time telling her to take a rest on a noodle, than encouraging her off the noodle in the past month.

Today, she and I stayed in the pool long after all the other kids had tired of swimming and wandered off to swing or play legos. She was experimenting with swimming underwater, trying to see how far down she could get on one breath of air. She was practicing touching the bottom with her feet, and jumping into the water from the top step of the ladder.

And the entire time, she had the biggest grin on her little face.

I want to keep this picture in my heart forever: my sweet daughter - dancing blue eyes, a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and pale-skinned cheeks, big floppy hat covering her short, light-brown hair - grinning from ear-to-ear, nearly bursting at the seams with pride and self-confidence.

She did it. She mastered the water (and her fears) in less than eight weeks.

I wait. I watch. I wonder: what's next?

Whatever it is, I know where I'll be: right there, cheering her on, taking heart-pictures of it all.

Amusement Parks Through Mom's Eyes

This summer, we've had two opportunities to visit amusement parks. While we were visiting my parents in the Myrtle Beach area, we included a stop at the Myrtle Beach Family Amusement Center one night. My parents generously bought the kids ride bracelets, and gave us some tickets to accompany them on a few rides.

Yesterday, the kids and I turned in our free tickets from the Six Flags reading program and met some friends for a day of rides and fun.

Both days, I was struck by just how much fun I could have not going on rides. In MB, BigBro and I went on the Log Flume, laughing maniacally and getting soaked, together. Then DH went with him on a Wild-West ride, and rode along as Princess drove the antique cars. But the rest of the night, we stood alongside the rides, waving, smiling, and snapping pictures. And it was one of the best times I've ever had at an amusement park.

Until yesterday. Three of us moms, corralling 9 kids around Six Flags for about 7 hours, was, by far, among the most fun I've ever had. The whole day, I rode only three rides: the antique cars twice (once driven by Princess and once by LilBro) and the Mine Train roller coaster once (with BigBro). But I had the best seat in the house for some really neat experiences: BigBro's first "real" roller coaster... the over-thinking and worry he was doing in line, getting caught up in the facts about the coaster that were posted in the queue, the panic in his voice as we headed up that first big hill, the giddiness as he realized that he was safe and having fun, and the beaming eyes and huge smile as we pulled back into station, safety bar was released, and BigBro realized that he had done it...and survived to tell.

I watched Princess try some new rides that had always scared her, as well as enjoying some of her old favorites with LilBro. Princess reveled in her role as the "big kid," holding LilBro's hand, making sure he was strapped in for the rides, guiding him back to me when the rides were over.

And LilBro, happy to go on the same rides over and over, giddily splashing in the pop-up fountains. When it was his turn to drive me around in the antique cars, his voice tightened in fear. His eyes were nervous and he clung to me in line. We climbed into the car, I put my foot on the gas pedal, and told him to steer. Within seconds, the fear was replaced by this calm confidence. He could do this. It wasn't scary. In fact, he was pretty good. Look... the car never went off the track, and didn't crash. Wow! He was a great driver! When we finished our loop around the course, my frightened little boy had been replaced with a self-confident young driver, who wanted - desperately - to get back in the 25 minute line to do it again. Alas... there were 8 other children who didn't fancy that idea, so the antique cars will have to wait for my little Indy 500 driver until next summer.

When I was a teen and in my 20s, I loved going to amusement parks. I loved the rides. I always stayed until the park closed... trying to squeeze just one more ride into the night. It seemed to me, at that time in my life, that it could never get better than that. I was tall enough for all of the fun rides, I could stay out as late as I wanted, and I had the stomach and nerves for even the craziest of coasters.

Those days are far behind me. The Mine Train is my top speed these days, and I am much more likely to be standing on the sidelines versus standing in the long lines. But the fun hasn't stopped one bit. That younger version of me never knew just how much fun it would be to watch my children enjoying rides: their joy, their giddiness, their innocence, and their self-confidence.

I doubt she would have believed me, if I could have told her, anyway.

On the Importance of Good Supplies

Right now, Princess is sitting on the bench in the play area section of the family room, reading a book to her friend. This is not just any book, but a book she wrote and illustrated herself this morning.

At the same time, BigBro is in the school room, diligently creating a book of his own...with detailed drawings and a storyline inspired by a book of story-starter cards I had bought a year or two ago (and which had been lost in the piles and mess somewhere along the line).

Did I mention that we are still on "summer vacation?"

Never underestimate what the kids will be able to create when the following conditions are met:

1) The school room is organized, allowing them easy access to art, craft, and writing supplies.

2) Their bookshelves are organized, allowing them easy access to story-starter books, notebook paper, and other pieces of inspiration.

3) I stay out of the way and avoid - at all costs - mentioning that what they are doing in any way constitutes school work.

Perhaps I'm not the only one in this family who is ready to get back to some more "formal" learning, after all.

Blessings of the Week - vol. 15

Happy August! I don't know about you, but where is the summer going?

Here's this week's roundup of gifts and graces from above:

-1-

Centering Prayer. I have so missed attending centering prayer at my parish. There is a small, dedicated group who meet twice a month, and I haven't been there since the end of May. But this morning, DH and I are starting our day with 20 minutes of silence in the Presence of our Lord. Could there be a greater blessing than this?

-2-

Good News from DH's Doctor. This past Monday, DH had a colonoscopy. He'd had some symptoms that had been concerning to us for a few weeks, and a visit to his primary doctor had resulted in this appointment. We were able, for the most part, to set aside our worries and enjoy our vacation last week. But the return home last Saturday, combined with the test prep on Sunday, brought the anxiety back.

The good news is that DH is fine. (Praise God!) Some polyps were removed and sent for testing, and he needs to make some dietary changes, but he is just fine. An awesome blessing!

-3-

An Organized School Room. This week saw me tearing apart, tossing out, recycling, donating, cleaning, dusting, and organizing our school room. I still have one big bookshelf and a game cabinet to go before I begin planning out the first few weeks of classes. BUT... and this is a really big BUT... that room is no longer a nightmare. It is pleasant, welcoming, and easy to use (for now, at least).

And the bonus blessing of the organization is the voluntary school work that's gone on this week. Princess, especially, has been really excited about the changes, and has taken the time to "teach" LilBro how to count to 100 (with a little help from me), and has worked with BigBro on some phonics lessons. So, even though my head is still deep in the middle of "summer," we are all slowly inching back into school mode.

*****

Where and how have you seen His Hand this week?