Monday, November 17, 2008

Where Does the Time Go?

LilBro is looking so much bigger to me lately. I keep looking at this little boy... a baby no longer, and wondering how it is that he is nearly 3 years old already.

I remember holding my tiny little guy in my arms. He and I had a wonderful start together... as an experienced mom, I knew enough to take full advantage of my 48 hours in the hospital post-birth. I knew that coming home to a toddler and preschooler meant quiet time with my baby would just not happen. And so, we cuddled, nursed, and slept nestled together in the hospital for those first few days.

And he is still my baby. He is much younger than the other two were at his age. I know that some of it is circumstance. BigBro had to be more mature; he was forced to walk rather than be carried by the arrival of Princess. Even Princess had to give up most of the babying with LilBro's arrival. So some of it is birth order. And some is me. I love cuddling him. I love letting him be two years old... with all of the joy, wonder and excitement, as well as all of the anger, frustrations and temper tantrums.

This morning, I saw both sides of my little guy. He got really upset when his turn playing on the PBSKids website was done, and he quickly spiraled into a tantrum. I scooped him up and held him close, as I carried him to his room to calm down. By the time we got to the top of the stairs, he was taking slow, deep breaths. I complimented him on his hard work to calm himself down. Then I gently placed him on his bed, handed him a few books, and told him that when BigBro and Princess get upset, they go lay on their beds and read until they are calm. When Mom gets upset, she does the same thing. I told him I thought he was big enough now to do the same thing. Did he agree? He didn't look at me or answer me, but he did open his book and start "reading." I gave him a kiss and told him I'd be happy to see him downstairs again when he is calm. About 10 minutes later, he interrupted BigBro's math lesson with a smile, a hug, and a jump up and down telling me he was calm and quiet now. (Ok, so not exactly quiet in demeanor, but at least emotionally). Wow... my little guy is growing up.

A few hours later, he came over and climbed in my lap. "Mommy, I falled down and hurt my leg. You need to cuddle me now." And I did. He lay there, closed his eyes, and I could see the peace and comfort he found in my arms. I prayed that he will always be able to come to me for peace and comfort, even as I know that these days will fade away, and a time will come when he won't come up to me and say "You need to cuddle me now." But for now, he is still my sweet baby, and I am going to hold tight to every moment I get.

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