Words

I've been thinking a lot about words these past few days. On Saturday, I said some really important, and really difficult words: "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." And I've seen that those words left me feeling naked, and also have begun some transformative work in me.

Yesterday morning, my friend and I were talking in the parking lot after mass. I told her that I was pleased to hear that my words had touched several people on the retreat last week, but that even more important, they had changed me. I needed to take responsibility for myself, and to stand up and make a public proclamation of my intent to change. Speaking these words aloud has allowed me to take an important step in the right direction.

This morning, when I was taking a 3 Minute Retreat (see link in sidebar), I came across this sentence:

"The great challenge is that, in order for words to have any real
transformative power, they not only need to be spoken, but need to be heard and
acted upon as well."

I so completely agree. This is where I am right now. My words were spoken. They were heard. I know they were heard by the reaction I got at the time... and by the many, many, warm and wonderful bits of feedback I've gotten throughout these past few days.

But I also need to act upon the words. I need to change my attitudes and my actions. I need to approach others with kindness, tolerance and acceptance; I need to replace my judgment with prayer... prayer for other, prayer for self. And I need to begin with me. I need to judge myself less harshly, and pray for myself more. I need to pray for the courage to live out the words I spoke last weekend, and for the grace to admit it when I fail. I need to treat myself gently, so that I can treat others gently.

I need to release not just the rock I throw at others... but the rock I throw at myself as well.