Do I Trust God?

One of the main themes of the Great Adventure Bible Study that I am facilitating is this question: do you trust God? Over and over in salvation history, the program shows the consequences of not trusting God as dire... resulting often in death, destruction, exile, pain, and suffering.

So, it makes sense that this question keeps rattling around in my brain. Today, someone in the group mentioned that question as an answer to one of the workbook questions. I pressed on, "but what does that mean? Is there someone here who can talk more concretely about trusting God?"

The group didn't realize it, but I was actually asking for advice. I think that because they are sitting at tables and I am standing at the podium with the answer book, they've gotten the impression that I know what I am talking about. I don't. I don't actually know what it means to trust God... to really, truly, actually let go and trust that God will take care of me.

But it appears that I will be getting a crash course in trusting God this month. I mentioned last week that March is packed to the gills. A lot of that is my own darn, prideful fault. I accept that. But I really did feel that my plate was full... that adding even just one more tiny little thing (an ear infection, a stomach virus, a flat tire, a bounced check) would set me over the edge.

And then a phone call came yesterday... one that will change not just my life, but my family's life... and for a lot longer than a month. And I am scared. I know that I am not enough for this new role I am being called to take on. I know that I can't do this on my own. I'm just not "enough" to do it alone. I know that the only way this will happen is by God's grace. The only thing I can do is to trust Him... to allow Him to take the reins (for once) and to trust that He will only lead me to that which he provides the strength for me to handle.

So... I sit here tonight and ask myself... can I trust God? Am I willing to place myself in His hands and trust that He will provide?