Without Counting the Cost

During Advent this year, I kept feeling the call to give without counting the cost. I felt this in all sorts of ways: the obvious (charitable giving) and the less obvious (giving emotionally to those from whom I expect no real response). On more than one occasion, I remarked to DH that I was feeling a real pull -- a calling, even -- to give of myself, more and deeper, expecting nothing in return, surrendering my ego and my will.

Advent was so busy, and Christmas even more so, that I never had the time to sit quietly with this call, to ponder it, to pray with it and through it. I just tried my best to honor it.

And so, here I am, at the beginning of another calendar year. 2011. DH explained New Year's Resolutions to the kids, encouraged them to make some, and listed off his own. He turned to me. "I haven't decided, yet," I answered.

Yesterday morning, after mass, I was handling a few last-minute details for LilBro's birthday party. Amidst the running around, I heard the call again. "Give, without counting the cost." I know that this wasn't some end-of-the-year, write-the-check-for-the-tax-refund type of calling. There is something more here, something I need to spend some time ferreting out, delving into. God is speaking. I need to pay heed.

So, instead of a list of resolutions for this new year, I am embracing a sentence. I don't know where or how this will play out, or what impact this choice will have on my year. I hope to blog about it, as I go along.

But, for now, at the beginning of January, I will take a page from the Blessed Mother. I will ponder this thing in my heart.

Give, without counting the cost.