However, a quick update to keep me going until I do find the time to blog more heavily.
- It's Back-to-School-Cleaning time! I am in the middle of a massive purge/cleaning/organizing of our school room and our living room bookshelves. Pictures will be posted when I am done (if for no other reason that to prove to myself that, yes, in fact, it did look neat and clean in here for at least long enough to snap a picture!)
- We arrived home on Saturday to find that the handful of moths we'd been fighting for a few weeks had had a huge party in our absence and we now had a full-fledged infestation on our hands. Sunday afternoon saw DH and me tossing out every bit of food from 3 cabinets, the toaster and the microwave (which were infested with eggs and worms - YUCK!). Then spraying and spraying some more. The dishwasher was kept busy sanitizing every dish, cup, and serving piece in the cabinets.
Yesterday, I sprayed one more time. Then I went to Target to get a new toaster and microwave, and to replenish some of the more critical foods we had lost on Sunday. After spending the afternoon scouring the countertops, running even more loads in the dishwasher, and preemptively putting the new food in plastic bags back in the pantry, DH and I declared an early success.
Now, we have not posted our "Mission Accomplished" banner just yet... but we haven't seen one of the buggers around for more than 24 hours, and that is a huge accomplishment! - Did you know that it takes nearly 7-1/2 hours to drive with children the same exact distance I used to drive for work (before children) in 4-3/4 hours?
That would be more of a whine if our children weren't so darn AWESOME in the car! They really are. There's no complaining, no whining, and not even any fighting. They just play, read, talk, sleep, and ask to stop for a potty break about every 45 minutes.
We've been making these long trips for 7 years. This year, we've had two long trips: last week's trip to NC and April's trip to Albuquerque. On both trips, the kids have been absolutely awesome. After years of dealing with whining, crying, screaming, and other sorts of consternation, we are so very happy to have arrived at this travel nirvana... where our kids are so used to the long trips that they become, well, vacations! - I hit the wall with my running the other day. The wind just dropped right out of my sails, and if I didn't have the August 29 race staring me in the face, I probably would have just set the whole running thing on the shelf for a while (or ever). And it's not because of our vacation, because I ran 4 days in NC. I don't really know what it was, but I had zero motivation.
So, for a change, I remembered to take my struggle to prayer. Sunday afternoon, I prayed sitting next to the treadmill, and realized that running -- like anything else in my life -- was a discipline, and that some days I just wouldn't feel like doing it. But, would have to do it anyway.
So, I get on the treadmill, and about 9 minutes into my run, I had to stop and stretch. I had this awful pain in my left calf. After stretching, I got back to it, and only got about another 4 minutes of running before the pain returned. Realizing that not every run would be picture perfect, and maybe I was tighter than usual from 2 days in the car, I gave up running for the day and spent about 15 minutes stretching instead.
Yesterday, I didn't run at all. The day just didn't have any time in it where I could consider fitting in a run.
This morning, I was nervous. I wanted to run, but I was afraid of the pain. And I was still struggling a little with the apathy. And with the fear that I won't be ready to run 3 miles one month from now. Fear of failure is a BIG demotivator for me. During mass, I prayed for God to relight the desire in me... to help me refocus on caring for my body and not on the Aug 29 goal.
I climbed on the treadmill a short time later and had a great run. I set the speed 2/10 slower than on Sunday, which meant it took me a little longer to hit the 2 mile mark, but I had no pain, and really felt myself getting a good workout. And I spent a good part of my run reminding myself that I can let go of perfection. Aug 29 is just the beginning... even if I have to walk part of the way, it's a starting point. All I can do from here is improve.
Anyone with advice (Carrie?), please post in comments. I am looking for all the help I can get!
Well, the mess isn't getting any smaller while I blog, so better get back to it.
I think that God is laughing at both of us right now; He is such a Lovable Joker! When you wrote about letting go of perfection, He poked me. While the school year meant early morning wakeup times to run, going to early Mass, and then driving to work, the summer has meant little running, later Mass, and ... I need to start running consistently again.
ReplyDeleteLike you I have to fight the temptation, and it is such a sly temptation, not to begin anything unless I know I can perfectly accomplish it. What rubbish! The Lord Himself, in the beginning when He created, created things in a state of journeying so that they might reach an even greater perfection (CCC 302). We must journey too, but we can't do that unless we take the first step.
I also try to remember that in order to achieve the prize, we must run the race. The crown that we receive at the end will be Christ's very own - the crown of thorns is our reward for running well. But those thorns, those calf cramps, those side-stitches can be offered up to Him out of love. "I am doing this because I love you, Sweet One, for You love me so much more!"
Keep running the race ... in the face of the taunts of the treadmill, and in the face of the taunts of the devil. The crown is worth it! And I'll be running with you. :)
Carrie,
ReplyDeleteThanks! All good advice. I'll come back here and read this again and again as I fight off the tempters.
Esp. your reminder of CCC 302... I think I need to print that off and post it on my forehead. (Maybe I can create a new trend... catechism tattoos!)
Happy Running!