Finding Jesus

One of the more interesting things I'm noticing as I pray with my Step 4 Inventory is all that is being revealed to me in the process. I am seeing myself more clearly, almost as though I'd been looking at a mirror smudged and fogged-over for years, and I've finally taken a few swipes with a cloth and some Windex. There are still some smudges there. Still some more spraying and wiping to do. But, already, the view is much clearer.

This morning, I awoke about 30 minutes before the alarm. In the quiet stillness of early morning, I began to pray, and quickly saw a different view of myself. I tried to make some mental notes. There are things that need to be added to my list, things that need to be brought to God and others for forgiveness. But this view was not all bad. In fact, there were some beautiful features that I had never noticed before. There is much goodness and light inside me; I cannot allow the process of entering the darkness to keep me from seeing the light.

Later, after mass, I checked my emails and read the posts waiting in my blog reader. Jeff from "Journey in Faith" has been doing a wonderful series on healing in response to a question I posted a week or so ago. I highly recommend reading it. But, this morning, he included a small suggestion which struck a real chord with me. He encourages us, when listening to someone talk about a painful experience, to look for Jesus' presence in the experience.

For all my praying, I had never considered looking at my inventory with an eye for Jesus' presence, but that is exactly where I believe I need to go with it next.

God is good, and His messages abound, if we only take the time to open ourselves to hear (or read) them.